I am boggled by the fact that there has been an In Rainbows Disk 2 for months, MONTHS, now, yet I somehow was unaware of this until about an hour ago. Having discovered the existence of such an album, I now own it (because Ceiling Cat forbid there be Radiohead that I don't own). "Go Slowly" and "Last Flowers" are bleeding excellent songs and my initial favorites. This being Radiohead, my favorite songs on the album a month from now will probably be ones I'm barely paying attention to now.
I am reaching incoherency after a whopping four hours of sleep after last nights' marathon grading session. I love the marathon grading sessions because it gets the pain over in one swell foop, but I'm not a fan of my exhaustion level right now. That said, I don't know that I would have gotten to bed any earlier than 2am anyway simply because my sleep schedule had turned to "weekend," meaning I didn't get out of bed until close to 11 yesterday.
The oddest thing about grading yesterday was that I ended up needing a notebook out for myself so that I could jot down thoughts for noveling. I typically end up with a notebook nearby so I can scribble notes on what sorts of writing instruction I think the class may benefit from. I'm not used to reading potato papers and feeling any sort of inspired thought about my own work - the usual thought process is more along the lines of "____________ OMGWTFBBQ DID YOU SRSLY WRITE THAT ______________________________ I'm bored" and etc. Weirdly, last night, despite the plenty of "WTF" thoughts, I finally managed to figure out how to get the fight between the main characters going - the bit that was giving me problems a few days ago. So YAY.
I can't wait to have a draft of the whole novel done so that I can completely rip it apart and reorganize it.
Anyway, I'm back to "I need to write my stupid resume for to attempt to find some sort of gainful employment." And consequently back to "I should probably take some Adderall" (which, despite my last post, I still haven't done). And back to feeling guilty about my distinct lack of progress in dissertationland, compounded by having run into Hosebeast Advisor in the hall today and her being completely friendly. So I feel like I'm being lazy and wasting time, which basically means I'm wasting my life.
Barista friend from a few posts ago bought herself a plane ticket yesterday so she can move to LA at the end of the semester to be with a guy she met and spent about a week with over Spring Break. She's over the moon happy. I think it's... well, I think it's awesome. I feel like I should be thinking that it's not a smart idea, that she shouldn't be tossing grad school in the basket just to try out a relationship etc etc etc., but I can't make myself do it. She's looking for jobs and I have no idea if she's planning on finishing her MA. And I think it's awesome because she's doing something instead of locking herself up in the academy. I think I'm kinda jealous. I'm not jealous that she's running of to pursue a relationship - I think I'm jealous because she's doing something wild and wonderful and crazy that sounds a lot more like living than my 7 years of doing time in the academy. And I wish that when I'd found it stifling, I'd done something wild and crazy too.
None of that is fueling my desire to work on my dissertation. It does, however, fuel my desire to novel more.
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