Moving in something under 33 hours

So things are batshit now and have been for a while.  I'd apologize for the lack of posting, but I haven't really been in the headspace for it.  Anyway, the academic job search thing turned out not the way we'd initially wanted it, so Brownie and I are moving in with my parents in a few days.  As my parents live six states away from where Brownie and I currently are, this has been something of an undertaking.

Most of the undertaking is ready to go, at least - 95% of our shit is on a truck in the parking lot right now, rather than in our apartment.  All we have to do tomorrow is turn in the cable box/modem, get our tv and mattress on the truck, eat dinner/say goodbye to Brownie's parents, and then go to sleep.  So that's tomorrow and it'll be sad and hard to say goodbye to his parents knowing that we won't see them next week as per usual.  But for tonight, I'm sad about my bartenders.

Almost exactly two years ago, Brownie and I discovered the bestest little pub in the universe roughly a town over from where we've been living.  By the end of the first visit, we'd discovered that they had a good beer selection, knowledgeable bartenders, and at least one bartender that was willing to shoot the shit for a few minutes when he wasn't busy with something else.  Within three visits, we knew a few names and had discovered that the on tap beer selection changed frequently.  Within a month, we were firmly regulars. 

Two years later, we've just said goodbye to a whole bunch of friends and it hurts.  I remember this feeling from when I moved 1200 miles away from home the first time - saying goodbye to everyone hurt like hell, and every time I've seen them after that has been slightly off, as though knowing that we're spending time together more because we were friends than because we're still active parts of each others' lives.  I guess I'm assuming now that this will happen again, that even with the advent of facebook and whatnot, I'll never be as close to my friends there as I have been.  And this is all natural and whatever, and I've got some really amazingly fantastic friends that I'll be going home to as Brownie and I relocate this weekend.  And this all reminds me that if next year's job search *is* successful and we end up moving *again* that I'm likely to find friends wherever we go that I will in turn miss if/when we leave them.

But right now I'm sad, and I was half in tears while we were hanging out at the bar tonight, and I'm half in tears now and very, very surprised to find just how much it hurts to leave everyone there.  And tomorrow night will be my last night in town, and Saturday night will be spent in a faraway plains state with two very freaked out kitties, and Sunday night will be spent at my parents in yet another, even farther away plains state.  And life will move on and maybe someday I'll become gainfully employed and someday even farther away than that, maybe I'll manage to publish a novel.  But not right now.  Right now I will pet my cat, and I will mope, and I will hope my friends have a good evening.