Back to the Adderall

Job-type update:
I now have a profile on linkedin.  It has, well, very little information on it.  Why?  Because I still haven't finished my resume.  It's... extremely strange trying to figure out how to word things in a way that "sells" me as a good job candidate (or indeed good at much of anything).  I'm also not sure if I should be putting as my field the one which currently employs me or the one in which I think I might be tolerably happy in (i.e., I think I'm giving HR a try).  Also not sure whether I should be listing my zipcode as the one in which I'm currently stuck or the one in which I'd prefer to be living in, say, 3 months.  I'm open to suggestions. 

Frustration update:
I think the resume will be finished with Adderall.  I'm too scattered lately for my brain to function correctly.  I'm frustrated to all hell with my class (seriously, potatoes, it's Twilight - please drum up some interest to pick it apart or bash it or whatever - even bashing it would bring up some kind of conversation that I could work with!), I'm behind on grading papers (it's been a week and a half now - I usually never take this long), I still have to finish that wretched book to finish teaching on Friday, I need to get my financial aid stuff taken care of for the summer/fall as I will still technically be a student, I REALLY need to finish a draft of the resume so I can get it out there, I need to help plan one of my best friend's bridal showers (I'm matron of honor and bride's mom is refusing to help with anything - long story, not mine), and I'm still trying to get some writing done on the novel. 

Unfortunately, I've been feeling so pulled around that very little actually got done today (um, this week so far).  Class was awful (I feel like I'm not doing a great job with the text, but I also feel like the fact that one person in the room actually did their homework (i.e., play on the google to find out some idea of the real extent of Twifandom) had something to do with it as well).  (I'm apparently parenthetical happy right now - sorry for that!)  I didn't get much sleep last night either.  The upshot is that I got home, ate something, complained at mah forum ladies about my stupid morning, pixel farmed, and then stared at umpteen word docs to no effect whatsoever while listening to Doves' "Some Cities" album on repeat.  I can't keep doing this, so it's back to the Adderall after the funeral.

Family/Life update:
We spent the evening at Brownie's uncle's house with his family, mostly listening to aunts and uncles and cousins compare eulogies for Brownie's grandpop's memorial.  The family writ large has been inundated with food this week - apparently the main reason we all got together was that there was suddenly enough food from neighbors and other family members that help was rather desperately needed to eat some of it.  I had no idea people still brought food to neighbors after a death in the family.  I think it's awesome that it really does happen.  The memorial service is tomorrow morning.  Brownie's mom threatened us with promised that we'd be the recipients of any fruit baskets she gets, but that she's keeping all the chocolate (her preferred stress reliever).  She planned pretty much the entire service, so I'd say she earned it.  Brownie and I are taking Nutella cookies to her on Saturday.

I should be sleepy by this point.  I'm exhausted, but I always seem to get something of a second wind along about 9:30/10.  I *hate* the timing on this, because I need to go to sleep.  The service tomorrow is at 8:30 way the hell at the other end of town.  I love when I can use this time for noveling, but that's been like pulling teeth out of a pissed off yak the past couple of days.  There's a fight that needs to happen that the characters don't seem ready to have yet, but that I need them to have within the next 12 or so hours of plot.  I can't figure out if I'm forcing the fight when the characters aren't quite ready for it or if I just haven't hit the right head space to write it.  I just can't hear it yet.  I can hear the aftermath loud and clear, but not the fight.  I'll have to backburner it for a few days and see what my brain dreams up while I'm working on other things.  I don't exactly have time to novel at the moment anyway, sadly.

An afternoon with the Adderall

I wonder if they spelled it "adderall" to make sure that "ADD" was prominantly featured in the name of the drug.

(at 2:20) I've written this during the course of an afternoon. I took Adderall with lunch today to see if it helps me to get through the mountain of grading I've fallen behind on. Hopefully it works. I took it an hour ago. It's had time to kick in and I can tell that it has because I can feel the sort of light rushy feeling that it tends to give my body. However, I've made it through precisely three microthemes before deciding I should chronicle it and shifted to this instantaneously. Score 1 for the ADD, 0 for the Adderall.

(at 3:02) I've finished grading the last few microthemes, alphabetized and sorted through two stacks of microthemes so that I can hand them out more easily during class tomorrow, and graded 2 papers. I feel like I'm having a hard time writing with a pen - my brain wants to write faster than my hand is capable of moving and my handwriting is smaller than usual. I keep having to cross things out because I'm trying to go too quickly and end up missing letters. I'm wondering if it will be legible to anyone else. It's legible to me, but I'm used to my writing and know what I'm saying. However, I've gotten through those papers fairly quickly and didn't get distracted in the middle of each like I usually do. Score 1 for Adderall, I think. I'd like to be writing more clearly. Will try and focus on that as I keep going.

(at 4:04) I now have 7 papers graded and have just figured out that I have 3 papers on my email that I need to grade as well. However, I'm a third of the way through, so that's a bonus. That also means I've graded 5 papers in an hour. Dude. +5 or something for Adderall. Back to grading.

(at 5:04, which strikes me as funny as it's been precisely an hour) I've graded 11 papers and figured out dinner (which will be pizza and hopefully, if Brownie picks some up, some beer), which is a bonus because that means I don't have to deal with cooking or cleaning up afterward. I want a break, but I keep telling myself I should push through while this stuff is still in effect so that I can be done before Vampire Diaries tonight. Also, who on earth thinks it's appropriate to quote from THE BACK OF THE BOOK to support an argument about a text? Adderall 1, student 0 *headdesk*

(at 6:09) I'm tired and I wish I were done with this but I've got three more physical papers and three papers online that still need to be graded. I'm feeling braindead and tired of repeating the same things (i.e., explain your quote so I know what the hell you mean by quoting it, and try and have an actual thesis please). So it occurs to me that I've been doing this for four hours and am entitled to a break. At the same time I think well, I may as well keep going.

(at 6:46) I'm done with all the papers except for the ones I received via email, which I need to download so I can grade them later. However, that's 18 papers graded with substantial marginal and end commentary, plus the microthemes done and everything sorted and ready to hand back tomorrow.

Basically, I have to admit that the Adderall does help when I'm trying to get through piles of shit that I'd rather not deal with. It did help cut down on the mental chatter and relunctance to try and focus that usually makes grading take a good two or three hours longer than this particular set of papers has taken me. I'm really glad that Adderall is one of those "turn on, turn off" type medications rather than something that I need to let build in my system (like an antidepressant) - mostly I'm glad that I know the effects will wear off soonish and I'll be able to think a little more like myself. I'm too tunnel-vision like this to have anything interesting to say. But I had a productive afternoon. I'll be interesting some other time.